By Sian Prior
SHY: a small word, beginning with an instruction to keep quiet (shhh). It's used to describe the timid, attention-avoiding people in our midst. At least, that's one stereotype we attach to this trait. Unfortunately it's a description that doesn't fit the perception of Prime Minister Julia Gillard.
On Thursday, the PM told Australia's most cynical political journalists that she was shy. The post-Press Club luncheon headlines were predictable: ''Gillard's 'Shy Girl' Plea For Understanding'', ''Gillard Confesses She's A Shy Girl''. Whether it was a strategy for gaining sympathy and political advantage, or a simple statement of fact (or both), it was a mistake.
Prime Minister Julia Gillard.Credit: Bloomberg
Our perceptions of shyness are a Rubik's Cube of contradictions. We associate it with empathy, sensitivity, loyalty and being a good listener. We often assume that behind the blushing facade shy people are sweet-natured and harmless.
Few of these stereotypes fit our image of the PM. Her perceived lack of loyalty to or empathy for Kevin Rudd still hounds her and those opposing a carbon tax claim Gillard is not listening.
On the negative side, shyness is linked with self-consciousness, self-pity, emotional withdrawal, social awkwardness and a lack of assertiveness. Shy people are often thought to be unwilling to ''make an effort'' or to be ''team players'' at work. Shyness is perceived as a form of weakness, a character flaw that should be erased with the help of assertiveness training, counselling or pharmaceuticals.
Publicly ascribing these qualities to one's own personality rarely wins friends or influences people. Confessing to shyness more often provokes bullying than sympathy. Even the word ''confession'' implies there is something shameful about being shy. And who wants to vote for a weak leader?
Many would find it hard to believe that someone who has become the first Australian female PM could be timid. Julia Gillard usually presents herself publicly as calm, confident and in control; in her own words, a woman of ''steely determination''.
So, by tacitly ascribing any of these stereotypical shy attributes to herself, positive or negative, she risks being perceived as ''Ju-liar'' again, only this time we'll assume she's lying about her own personality.
Commentators are already joking about ''the real real Julia Gillard'', and one Age correspondent described her as ''looking like a woman trying to get out of a speeding fine''. If she's not directly lying, then at best she appears to be trying to make excuses for her failings.
But what if we were to take her at her word? Psychologists believe the essence of shyness is ''fear of negative evaluation''. We all experience this fear at times, but for shy people the anxiety about how others perceive us is more extreme, persistent and sometimes disabling. Julia Gillard has been criticised for not keeping to policy promises, for doing political ''backflips'' and for being overly concerned with opinion polls. Admitting to being shy is like admitting those criticisms are valid; she's so worried about negative evaluation by Australian voters, she can't stick to her guns.
Perhaps the biggest problem for our shy PM is her gender. Many of the stereotypical attributes of shyness have been associated with traditionally female behaviours. Men are assertive, women are timid. Men speak, women listen. Men stick to their guns, women are easily swayed by emotions - or so the myth goes. Most female political leaders are forced to counter these stereotypes throughout their careers or risk being dismissed as unfit to lead. (I suspect Malcolm Fraser is shy but his reserve was deemed acceptable because he was a man.) With one small word, Julia Gillard has confirmed the prejudices of those who were already suspicious of her simply because she's a woman.
Many of these stereotypes about shyness (and gender) are just plain wrong. Most shy people (including me) have developed strategies to overcome their anxieties. I've interviewed self-describing shy people who have become successful actors, musicians, teachers, broadcasters, corporate leaders and politicians, often adopting alternative ''personae'' that enable them to lead their professional lives in public while protecting their private lives from scrutiny. But stereotypes die hard.
The shy Prime Minister sought our understanding, perhaps our pity. I fear she is more likely to have lost our respect.
Broadcaster and journalist Sian Prior is writing a book about shyness.